I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
