im drinking this country out of the recession.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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