stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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