finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I could fuck to npr.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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