textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
