I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
