Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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