if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
did i walk over a car last night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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