FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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