We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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