Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
