I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
