My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
