i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
