Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
