What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
