god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
