do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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