if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
