This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
