I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
