this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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