i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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