I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
