Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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