i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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