If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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