I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
