I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
