You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
