Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Pants are for mortals
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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