I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
