its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Randomize
