To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
