writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
