y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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