i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
