She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
