You can't motorboat a personality
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
