i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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