If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
