peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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