First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
