Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
