Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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