He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
