the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
