what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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