so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
