Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
